The first thing you need to know is that a ham with pineapple-ring eyes and a maraschino cherry nose looks exactly as dumb on a real kitchen counter as it does in your head.
That is a compliment.
I made Rum Ham from *Paddy’s Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia: An It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Cookbook*, the official *It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia* cookbook by Laurel Randolph. If you know the show, you already know the idea. Frank Reynolds, played by Danny DeVito, creates a rum-soaked ham in “The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore,” because of course he does. It is one of those TV food jokes that should probably stay fictional.
Naturally, I cooked it.
I followed the cookbook recipe exactly, which matters here because after I posted an earlier version of the video, a lot of people had the same complaint: not enough rum.
The funny part is, I did not hold back on my own. I used what the official cookbook told me to use. If anything, the official Rum Ham recipe is more restrained than the version fans have been carrying around in their heads for years. Frank’s spiritual version probably involves less measuring and more yelling near a beach cooler.
The surprise is that it works
As a bit, Rum Ham is hard to beat. As dinner, I expected it to be more questionable.
But honestly, it was pretty good.
The cookbook version uses a spiral-cut cooked ham with a glaze built around brown sugar, dark rum, Dijon mustard, ground cloves, and pineapple. That is not a bad lineup. Sweet ham glazes have been getting away with this sort of thing at family holidays forever. The rum gives it a little edge, the mustard keeps the sugar from turning flat, and the cloves bring that old-school ham smell that makes the kitchen feel like somebody’s aunt is about to ask if you brought rolls.
Then you add the pineapple rings for eyes and a maraschino cherry for the nose, and suddenly the whole thing looks like it has seen too much.
That visual is the point. Without the face, it is just a rum-glazed ham. With the face, it becomes Frank Reynolds’ Rum Ham, which is a very different social contract.
I will not reprint the cookbook’s measurements or full directions here, because that is what the book is for. But the basic shape is simple enough: cooked spiral ham, sweet rum glaze, pineapple decoration, oven time, and the growing realization that you are serving a comedy prop with side dishes.
The cookbook is part recipe book, part fan object
What I liked more than expected was the cookbook itself.
A lot of TV cookbooks feel like somebody took a list of references and reverse-engineered food around them. This one still does that, but it seems to understand the joke. The recipes come with quotes and little show references, so flipping through it feels closer to revisiting episodes than just scanning a novelty gift book.
The official cookbook was published in 2023 by Hyperion Avenue and includes more than 45 show-inspired recipes. Rum Ham is the obvious headliner, but the book also gets into other very *Always Sunny* ideas like Milk Steak, Trash Bag Full of Chimichangas, McPoyles’ Milk Punch, and Mac’s Famous Mac and Cheese.
Some of those sound more like dares than recipes. That is also the brand.
Rum Ham, though, may be the rare joke food that survives contact with the oven. It is still ridiculous, but underneath the pineapple face is a fairly normal glazed ham. That may disappoint anyone hoping for a full Frank-style culinary disaster, but it made the thing easier to eat.
Would I make it again? Probably.
Would I use more rum next time? Based on the comments, I probably have to. Not because the official recipe failed, but because the collective internet understanding of Rum Ham seems to require a little more chaos than the cookbook allows.
Just remember, the recipe contains rum, and I would not assume all of the alcohol disappears just because it went into the oven. Use adult judgment. Which, admittedly, is not the usual operating principle at Paddy’s Pub.
Cookbook details
- Book: *Paddy’s Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia: An It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Cookbook*
- Author: Laurel Randolph
- Publisher: Hyperion Avenue
- Published: September 26, 2023
- Format: Hardcover, 160 pages
- Includes: Rum Ham and more than 45 recipes inspired by *It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia*
